So far I have written about my Jr. High experiences, now I want to transition into my high school years.
At the age of 14 after trying cocaine for the first time I began a lifestyle that demanded money, style, and a charismatic personality. I think I already had a charismatic personality to begin with, cocaine just amplified it. I remember starting off slow, buying a small amount at a time, about a quarter gram for $20 and it would get me through the night. I, was of course only 14 going on 15, so how could I have known that this drug is a multi-billion dollar business? I eventually caught on to the fact that I could buy so much more to sell, break even and have much more left leftover than a quarter gram for myself.
Every Friday and Saturday night there were different parties hosted by different people in downtown Chicago therefore I had reason to party. I remember working as a bus boy at a neighborhood restaurant Fridays and Saturday nights making $200/week. Now, for a 14-year-old that was great back in the 80’s but all the action/parties were on Fridays and Saturdays so I quit and bagged groceries for a grocery story during the day so I could have my evenings free! I was slowly beginning to understand how this lifestyle worked. This lifestyle of cocaine and alcohol is also called the “nightlife” and that’s what I craved, the nightlife, where anything goes, freedom, no collared shirts with dress pants sitting in class listening to a priest talk about algebra.
Ninth and tenth grades were horrible, I was so bored! I did not want to apply myself at school. I knew I was smart enough but for me, back then, to sit in class with a collared shirt and dress pants was not my style at all!! I wanted to wear jeans and a t-shirt and be free! So I would “cut” those late afternoon classes and go party, get high, drink beer, and snort lines. Which meant failing those afternoon classes I cut and that meant attending summer school. I thought to myself, “I will go to summer school for 3 hours in the morning, and then I have all of my day ahead of me.” I would get picked up by an older friend, smoke a joint on the way to Oak Street Beach, downtown Chicago, right on Lake Michigan with the Drake Hotel and the fabulous Chicago skyline! We would meet other friends and it was one long “day” of partying, smoking joints, and drinking beers with 100’s of other strangers hanging out at the beach. The only thing we all had in common was that we were all wasted!! There were times that I was so wasted my memory was blurred. I would say “what a great time we had” knowing I didn’t remember much. The horrific and sad side of all this, I was only 15 years old.
“That is the allure, the drug (cocaine) seemed to amplify your already charismatic personality. But look how quickly it started to take over you life. Sure, the amounts you were doing in the beginning were small, but the cost was already high, effecting your grades and focus. That seems to be the biggest trap of any addiction, but especially with drug and alcohol addiction. The life it appears to offer in the beginning looks like it is making you better, finally allowing you to be “who you are,” but there is the lie. In reality it robs you of who you are and what you can become. The consequences are far greater than the benefits, which are really none. 15 years old, such a young age to be in the beginnings of such a destructive lifestyle (really it started at 12, as you mentioned in an earlier blog). My heart goes to all the children (and adults) who live this life or are surrounded by such an environment.” – Angela M Kalaras
Angela and I can not begin to express how grateful we are for the 192 /$50 gifts that have been donated so far! We have set in place a fund-raiser called 300 & 50 (please see video). We are looking for 300/ $50 gifts. We are asking for 108 more $50 gifts to further LIFEiLEAD’s Mission and Vision!
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Please make out the check to LIFiLEAD and send to:
LIFEiLEAD
PO Box 633
Warrington, PA 18976