My mother had found a rehab for me to attend but that was not scheduled for another 2 weeks before I actually flew out to New York. It was Thanksgiving morning on my way to my apartment after an “after hours” party. I had been up for 48 hours snorting cocaine. On my way home I purchased more cocaine. You see, for addicts, holidays are very hard to cope with. Addicts are consumed with guilt and shame and the only coping mechanism they have is to self medicate (or get higher and higher) with drugs, so that the pain, shame, and guilt may go away. My Thanksgiving dinner was a plate of cocaine downed with two bottles (5ths) of vodka! After being awake for almost 72 hours drinking and drugging I finally passed out. I never went to Thanksgiving dinner (as always) and I never communicated to anyone where I was (again, as always). I woke up late Black Friday afternoon so hungry and on my way out the door desperately thinking of who would, either feed me for free or, lend me money so I can eat, there in front of me was an aluminum pan with Thanksgiving leftovers. I felt so lost and hopeless in that moment. Never in a thousand years in THAT desperate moment would I have ever thought almost fifteen years later (today) I would be writing about this, sober, married, and providing help for those who are in need of help. I serve a mighty God! Praise Him!! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

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